Downsizing My Closet

Lets get this out of the way early, I love clothes. Actually, I love style. Mine is always evolving and its both fun and a challenge. But I can never seem to recycle out the "old me" clothes. I never thought I could part with some of my beloved clothes, but recently I've been tossing things out of my closet left and right. My main New Year Resolution is to downsize my closet. Now, I go through my clothes about two or three times per year and take about two garbage bags full of clothes to the Goodwill or Salvation Army each time and after every purge, it never looks like I even made a dent.(See: lots of clothes)

 I recently found an old blog called Un-Fancy.com that suggests that a minimalist wardrobe can actually make you a more creative, relaxed person, with more money in your pocket to spend on say, an experience, rather than an outfit. And it can be cute and functional and classic. I realized I needed to toss anything that I havent worn in years or havent worn more than 5 times this past year. Turns out, its most of my closet. See, I have my favorites that I go to all the time because they make me feel good and because when I look at them and wear them, I feel most like myself. They are the basics that I can dress up or down and they fit my lifestyle now. So, I can't promise I will downsize to a 37 piece wardrobe like Caroline, but I'll never say never.

Hobby-less

It has been a while since I've posted on this blog. Although I'm aware not many people read it, I do it more for myself and I enjoy documenting things in a sort of online journal. The reason I logged into it tonight was because I recently realized now that wedding planning is over (never thought I would miss it, but I do!), I don't have a hobby! Like a true, all-my-own hobby. I realized this a few weeks ago when Bruce and I were asked, "So what do you do for fun! What's your hobby." Thankfully Bruce answered first and I got out of it...but I sort of panicked. Why don't I have one!?! I used to have a bunch that I loved. I actually loved making things for my wedding so much that I forgot how fun it is to create things and DIY.

ANYWAY, the moral of the story is that I'm going to make some mid-year resolutions to:

- Make something every month

- Give more gifts

- Work out more (lets be honest, work out at all) 

- Read one book per month 

- Travel more (even if its by myself)

- Spend more time with my friends and family

- Start going on more dates with my husband

- Walk the dogs more each week

- Write on this blog more

- Take photos with my good camera 

Happy Wedding Update

A few months ago I was really struggling with planning Bruce and my wedding. After I got out my frustrations and was honest with myself and everyone else, I felt good. I also got a lot of support and reassurance that I was not crazy for feeling overwhelmed. I think sometimes when I am overwhelmed, I immediately become paralyzed by it and start projecting negative feelings about whatever it is that is making me feel that way (I think other people do the same. Right?). But after I put it out there, it was like I could stop stressing about all the reasons that were preventing me from getting started. I was free! And just like that, my negative feelings were gone. I was myself, I was honest, and I was ready to crack down and just make some freaking decisions.

So, I wanted to update everyone that things are going really well! I am actually making decisions like a boss (with Bruce's help of course). And dare I say, I am having a lot of fun. Now the way I'm keeping myself from stressing is to make a decision and move on and don't look back. Its almost in a compulsive way. If I (and we) like it and it's reasonable, then no more questions asked. Venue? Check. Gown? Check. Bridesmaids dresses? Check. Minister, wedding bands, food, photographer? Check, check, check and check. Its been surprisingly easy... almost too easy. Easy to the point that reading my old post, I feel like I can't understand why I let myself feel that way.

Another reason I'm feeling less stressed this time is because we are leaving out all the unnecessary stuff and starting to enlist the help of friends and family to pull it off. My aunties' cookies are going to be awesome, Alex is going to be making our cake, and Bruce's parents are starting to stock up on the alcohol.

So, lesson learned. Be honest, stay true to yourself, ask for help, don't overthink it. Great mantra in wedding planning and in LIFE!

Trying New Things

This weekend's theme seems to have been a mix of trying new things and fall festivities. On Friday I was finally able to visit the Penn Brewery for their Oktoberfest. You enter a cobblestone courtyard with hanging white lights strung from the two brick buildings that make up the brewery and it really felt like we were somewhere in Germany, except for the fact that the Pittsburgh city skyline was in full view behind us. Just awesome. I am somewhat embarrassed I have lived in Pittsburgh all my life and somehow got in the habit of going to the same places over and over again when there are so many exciting new places to try so I'm lucky that my friends and I are on a new mission to do different things.

On Saturday, we decided to go apple-picking at Triple B Farm during their fall festival, which was really cute and got me really pumped for fall. We had such a good time just walking up and down the rows of apple trees, picking apples, and enjoying the sunny (and warm) day. We had never picked apples before so we weren't sure what to expect (to be honest, I was hoping I could climb a tree, but I don't know much about apple trees). The trees were about 12 feet tall and most of the picking was below eye level, but it was just as fun.

 

  

  That night we went out in Lawrenceville and Shadyside (although I was the only one who had not done this) and tried some fall beers and ciders. I have to go back to Industry Public House for the Arsenal Archibald's Ado Hard Apple Cider. Amazing. And deceiving because it's 8.5% alcohol.

 

 

Also, I have to embarrass myself even more by saying that I had no idea how awesome Uber and Lyft are for getting around in the city. And I didn't really understand how it worked until this weekend even though my friends have used them. I feel like I must have been under a rock for the past few years.

And then on Sunday, Bruce and I went to a pumpkin patch in Wexford. Again, I've never picked pumpkins from a patch. We picked a few weird looking ones and a few huge ones and they are currently on display on our porch stairs until we're ready to carve them closer to Halloween (this I have done, but not with Bruce). Might have to challenge him to a carving contest.

 

Why I'm Struggling to Plan My Wedding

Okay, so I have to talk about this somewhere. I dread planning my wedding. I hate--and have-- to say this. I always thought planning a wedding would be the most exciting thing by looking on Pinterest, Facebook, and talking with most people. I keep having this guilty feeling though when people ask me, "How's the wedding plans coming?" and, "How fun and exciting this is!". My answer starts out with a shaky, "Well.... we don't have a lot done." And I really mean, "I have no idea how, when, or where we will get married because I can't bring myself to plan this thing." The closest we got to planning was putting down a deposit on a venue, but we cancelled and are back to square one.

I should say that most people who know me would agree this is not because I am extremely picky or indecisive (although I can definitely be indecisive). I'm just overwhelmed. I never wanted a big wedding, I don't want to be a princess on my wedding day, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I am becoming increasingly terrified of people making a fuss over me. But probably the biggest reason I am finding it so hard to start planning is because I really don't care. That sounds harsh. I don't mean about the day, because I know the day will be beautiful, I mean about all the little details. I don't care. I said it. And that feels so good. I guess I am too scared to say that to anyone's face (I can picture the shocked looks I would get.) I mean I don't care what flowers I carry, or to have a theme, or what color dresses my bridesmaids would wear, or even to find the perfect dress. I don't care what month or day it is, what side dishes are served, or where the gift table will be. I especially don't care to spend an insane amount of money. I don't care to even talk about all these insignificant details. This makes me feel like a horrible bride-to-be. And even after saying all that, I feel like I would let most people down by telling them these things.

I think I worry, too, about having this day be about everyone else, which in a way is silly. How has such an important day in the lives of two people become about throwing a party for everyone else and showing them how happy and in love they are. I love the idea of honoring family and friends on this day for being a huge, HUGE part in our little love story, but I find myself getting so caught up in how I would make my wedding day enjoyable for everyone, that I become overwhelmed and confused.

I do just want to marry the person I love, the best person I know and the best friend I could ask for. I do look forward to saying my vows to Bruce without them having to mean anything to anyone but us. I do want to be selfish. Just for one day. Twelve hours in the year. I want to wake up late and have coffee with him. I want to take Thor for a walk. I want to relax. I want to be in the exciting bliss of being sooo close to being married with him that day. I want it to be romantic and real and I want to feel like myself.

I guess I want that to be okay with everyone. That I don't know what the right thing for us to do is just yet, although we have a few ideas I like. I want everyone to be just as happy and supportive of us after hearing something like that. Please tell me someone can empathize or reassure me that this is not crazy or abnormal. And even if you can't, I will say that I am lucky to have Bruce to proofread this and tell me "It's perfect."

New Addition to the Family

Bruce and I recently welcomed Thor, a 9 week old, 29 pound English Mastiff puppy into our little family. And needless to say, we are smitten with him. I knew training a puppy would be hard, but there is so much more that goes into taking care of a little buddy than I realized. Between potty training and making sure he's happy and feels loved, his whole world revolves around what we do with/for him. He had his first vet appointment today and he is doing great! The first day home was really hard for him (and me) because he was so scared and kept crying, but he is getting so much more comfortable, which makes me so excited. This is my first dog ever! So I just look at him sometimes and think "He' really mine". Crazy.

Life Has Been Good

Life has been good to me lately. Well, I am saying that this week... last week was hell.

 

Bruce and I moved in together this month (which has been really fun so far but still, moving is stressful!), I've started a new job (also very exciting but stressful), I got a new car again after a long process of trading in my Lemon and getting into my first accident in the rental they lent me... and I am graduating in 3 weeks with my BSN! All of this while trying not to itch the poison ivy I got and am pretty dang allergic to.

 

 A lot of stress and big changes for this girl right here.

But actually, I haven't ever been so happy.

 I love being close to my friends and family again and the fact that I can see them everyday is awesome.

I'm in love with our neighborhood and new home.

I love driving to work across the Fort Pitt Bridge into the city lights in the dark mornings. (Even though the traffic on the way home I could do without).

And I love staying at home on our huge comfy couches watching movies.

 I love how cozy everything is.

 

Here are a few of the things I've (we've) been up to!